What if I don't want it?
by MaximumTwilightRider
Summary: When Desmond changes River into a vampire against her will, is it even possible for her to still love him? Or will she fall in love with his brother Paul, who tried to stop desmon from changing her to a killing, bloodthirsty and undead creature?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is my third Fanfic. I have read the Twilight saga **_**so**_** many times, so I figured I should probably write a fanfiction for it. But there were some things from the Night World series that I thought were pretty darn awesome, so I added those in here. A description of my Twilight/Night World vampire: **

**Twilight features:**

**Red/Golden eyes**

**Venom changes you into a vampire**

**Pale, cold skin**

**Really fast, and strong**

**Supernatural powers**

**Night World features:**

**Not allowed to love a human**

**Can be killed with wood-but only a certain kind of wood, maple, and they have to be pierced through the heart.**

**Telepathic Mind control**

**I may add to this list in future chapters if I must. I own the plot, which I am very proud of. And the characters, aside from the Volturi if I put them in the story. I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I also don't own Night World. It belongs to L. J. Smith. Here's the story. Oh, and I apologize in advance for the abundance of author's notes. If I have something to say, I **_**will**_** say it. And don't try to tell me otherwise.**

I was running. I loved running. It felt wonderful. I had long legs, so I could run unusually fast. Still, it wasn't fast _enough_. In case you can't guess, I _love_ going fast. It gives me a thrill. The faster, the better. Up to a point. Unfortunately, I can't reach that point by running. Oh well, I would just keep trying to go faster at running.

Of course then I started dreaming about running as fast as a cheetah, and then a plane, and then overtaking the plane. And winning Olympic medals. Pardon my overactive imagination.

My legs were getting tired, so I slowed down. I wasn't far from my house now, so I figured I could walk the rest of the way. Another wave of disappointment washed over me as I remembered (for the fifth time that day) that it was the last day of summer holidays, and tomorrow I would have to go back to another three and a half months of torture before my next vacation. Sigh. I would have to make the most of this day. I had already gone swimming, done a few backflips of the high dive. I had played Mario Kart a bit. I had finished my book. Oh no. I was out of things to do. On the last day of summer vacation, that was not good.

I took the key to my house out from inside my bike handle-bar. I had come up with the hiding spot. I went to my house and unlocked the door. Once inside, I tossed the key down on the counter and flopped down on the couch. I would re-hide the key later. Actually, I would tell myself to hide the key, and then forget by the time it actually came around to doing it.

I turned on the TV and changed the channel from the news to one that I didn't pay attention to what it was called. All I knew was that American Idol was on right now on it.

And so went the last day of summer holidays. My mom came home. We cooked supper. My dad came home. We ate. I started reading a new book. I went to bed at around 10:00. Normally I wouldn't go to bed that soon, but I figured sleeping in all summer would have its effects in the morning.

**In the morning**

"River!"

"Unhh?"

My brain had definitely not understood what had just been said. I _think_ it had been my name, but I wasn't sure. "River, wake up!"

Yeah, that was definitely my name. "I don't want to wake up!" I called back.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. I heard my mom walk into my room. A few seconds later, I felt my cat, Rosethorn, jump onto my head and start pawing at me. She had gotten her name because of her bad habit of scratching as a kitten. Thankfully, she had learned to keep her claws in. I rolled back over and pet her. "Okay, I'm getting up," I told my mom, "You are so annoying," I added to Rosethorn.

I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my hair out. I had apparently had a fitful sleep, because my dark red hair was a mess. It was tangled and stuck out at odd places. Grabbing the hairbrush, I combed through the knots, and then smoothed it back into a ponytail.

As I finished my hair I took a glance at my watch. 8:13. Crap. I had to be at school in a half an hour. And since I didn't have my license yet, I had to bike, which meant it would take an extra five minutes to bike to school. Crap.

I ran up to the kitchen, grabbed a piece of bread from the bag, and smeared some honey on it. I ran around frantically, trying to make sure I had all my stuff. I grabbed my over-stuffed backpack, put on my beloved flip-flops, and ran out onto my bike.

When I finally got to school, I was out of breath. I glanced at my watch. 8:30. I gave a loud groan/sigh/angry animal noise. School didn't start for another _fifteen minutes_. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I went into school and walked to my 10th grade classroom. That was weird. I was so used to being a freshman. Now I was a sophomore. It was strange to picture myself like that. I was used to picturing last years sophomore's when I heard the word. Now I would have to shift my whole perspective. Just my luck, when I first got to the classroom, it was still locked. Aagh! This is why I hate the first day of school. I plopped myself down in front of the door. At least the first day was on a Thursday. That meant tomorrow was Friday and then we had a long weekend, due to the fact that Monday was a local holiday.

Another thing I had to look forward to. We were getting two new kids in our class. Both of them were boys, which was a very good thing. There wasn't exactly much selection in our class for guys. Hopefully at least one of them looked nice. "You here early too?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

I looked up from where I was sitting against the door. There stood Eva, my friend from last year. "Yup, woke up late and rushed over here," I told her.

"My mom insisted I get here in time, and now, well, I'm definitely here on time," she smiled.

We sat against the door and visited for a while. Soon the rest of our class came filing in. Our teacher came as well and unlocked the door. I walked in and placed my stuff on a desk towards the middle/back of the room. Best spot to be if you want to take an inconspicuous nap. The teacher pays attention to the very back, and up front is super obvious. I plugged my ipod into my ears and laid my head on my desk. I hated mornings.

Every time someone walked in the door, I looked up to see who it was. Somewhere in the middle, the two new boys came in. As soon as I looked up, I thought, _My hopes for selection have been answered._

They were _beautiful_. I had never seen anyone like them. Well, there was that one guy I saw when I went to Ottawa. He was pretty darn cute. But nowhere near these two. They made supermodels look like hoboes.

One boy had dark hair, which shone slightly in the fluorescent lights, and was down to his ears and very straight. His eyes looked bright red from where I stood. He must have those coloured contacts. His skin was pale, and he looked sort of tired, like he hadn't slept well the night before. He must have had nerves from starting a new school. I'd had really bad nerves when I started here in grade four. The guy was tallish, not crazily so, but enough to notice it, and he had a muscular build. He was the hotter of the two.

The other kid had dark blonde hair, in the same style as the first guy. His face had the same angular shape as the dark-haired guys, so I figured they were brothers. They also had the same tired look on their faces, and the same pale skin tone. This kid had almost the same eye colour, but his was a sort of burnt auburn colour. More contacts. He was slightly taller than the first boy, but less muscular. He was still unbelievably gorgeous, but not as much as the first guy.

The two guys went to the teacher's desk and muttered something I didn't catch. She nodded pleasantly and gestured around the room. They must have asked where to sit. The guy with the dark hair went and sat at the back; the guy with the blonder hair headed _my_ direction and sat down by _me_!

"Hello," he began, "My name is Paul. Over there is my brother, Desmond."

I smiled awkwardly back at him. "I'm River."

"That's an unusual name for a girl."

Trying to go with the conversation, I shrugged and replied, "It suits me, I'm unusual for a girl."

What I said was true. I was a tomboy, through and through. I was currently wearing my favourite choice of clothing, jeans and a t-shirt. I raced my bike and was as fast as almost all the guys in my class. I never wore make up and I didn't mind getting dirty. I went looking for frogs and insects, and I started fires better than anyone I'd ever seen.

The teacher interrupted our conversation by telling us that we could go and pick our lockers now. I grabbed my backpack off the back of my desk and slung it over one shoulder. Following the mob of students, I walked out of the room into the hallway. I met up with Eva and picked a locker beside her, not too far away from homeroom. I started to unload my stuff into my locker, and then paused when I saw Desmond coming to claim a locker with me. "Is this locker taken?" he asked.

"No," I said, "You can take it. Unless there was another one you wanted to take. But then you probably wouldn't have asked if this one was free. Sorry, I wasn't thinking very much I guess."

He smiled serenely at me, looking as though he was just putting up with me. "All the other lockers are taken, so I guess I'll take this one."

As he unloaded his stuff into his locker, I mentally slapped myself in the face. Aah! I was such an idiot. I had totally blown any chances of him asking me out. Why did I talk too much when I got nervous? Why couldn't I just stutter or do something normal? Why, why, why? Eva laughed at my expression. "At least he went in the locker beside you," she said.

"Yeah, cause everywhere else was full," I snapped.

"_That_ was just a lie so that he could go beside you and make it look like he _had_ to. See, look. People are still taking lockers.

Sure enough, there were still students opening lockers to load with their school stuff. Eva gave a knowing smile and went back to her locker.

Was I ever glad I had a friend who was part girly-girl. Otherwise I'd never have known what to do. Now I knew that I still had a chance with Desmond, and if not him, his adorable brother Paul.

**At the end of the day**

I walked back to my locker at the end of geography class. That had to be my most boring class. But I needed it to be a palaeontologist, so I would endure. As I loaded my homework into my backpack, Desmond came down from the other end of the hall. He opened his locker and put away his history books. After that, he turned to _me_ and said, "Do you know if there's anything going on in town this weekend?"

"I think that there's a dance at the park on Friday night. There'll be fireworks and probably some snacks. I don't know all the details yet."

"How about you give me a call once you find out," he answered, scribbling down his number on a sheet of loose-leaf and handing it to me.

I took the number and casually placed it in my pocket. "Thanks, I'll call you soon."

He nodded and put his back pack over his shoulder, then turned and left the school. Eva gave me a proud look. "Nice," she said.

"What?"

"He gave you his number, idiot!"

"So I could call him about the dance on Friday," I reasoned.

She sighed and shook her head. "You are totally clueless. When a guy gives you his number, it is _good_. Usually it's the other way around, but it doesn't particularly matter. At least he didn't use any pick-up lines to get _your_ number. Pick-up lines always fall into two categories: dorky, or nasty. You wouldn't believe some of the things guys have said to me to try to get my number. This one guy said-"

"I don't need to know," I said hurriedly.

"Okay. See you tomorrow," she said, and walked off to her house near the school.

I walked out of the school and got on my bike. I rode home quickly and watched a bit of TV. Then I figured I better find out the details of the party tomorrow. I picked up the phone and called Dominic, who had organized the party. The phone rang once, twice, and then he answered. "Hello?"

"Hi Dominic, it's River."

"Hey River, what's up?"

"I was calling about the party tomorrow…"

"You want to know what's happening?"

"You're a mind reader."

"Well, it's starting at around 8:30, and it'll probably go to about sometime between midnight and one in the morning. There's gonna be hot dogs and burgers, and some pop. You can bring a CD to put in the playlist pile if you want. There's a limit of three CD's per person. That's about it. Can you try to spread the word a bit? There aren't many people going yet."

"Yeah, I can do that. Desmond wanted to go; I actually have to call him back to tell him what time and stuff. Thanks for the info."

"Your welcome. See ya."

"Yeah. Bye."

The line went dead and I hung the phone up. I then pulled the little piece of paper out of my pocket and dialled the number written on it. The phone rang only once before it was answered. "Hello?" came Paul's voice out of the receiver.

"Hi. Can I please speak to Desmond?"

"Who's calling?"

"It's River."

"Okay, one minute please."

The line was quiet for a little while, and then Desmond's voice was on the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Desmond. It's River."

"Oh, hi River. Did you find out what's happening at the party tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It starts at 8:30, and it goes until around midnight or one. There'll be food and drinks there. If you want you can bring some CD's to put in the playlist pile, but you can't bring more than three. That's pretty much it. Do you think you'll be able to come?"

"Yes, I should be there. I think Paul was wanting to come too. Is that all right?"

"The more the merrier."

"Okay, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay. Good-bye."

I hung up. The rest of my evening went the same as yesterday. By the time I went to bed, I was completely excited for school to come, because it meant I would be able to see Desmond again.

**And so ends the first chapter. They're gonna be short, because I'm working on another fanfiction, and I can update more if I keep the chapters short. Please review my story. Every chapter if you want, i don't mind. I love reviews! THey are wonderful! Even if you tell me my plot is crappy and i have the worst writing you've ever read, i don't care!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter. Wahoo! Aren't you all happy? I am truly sorry for the amount of time it took me, but I have been busy what with school and sports and whatnot. Whatnot being 140km bike trips. That was exhausting!**

**Friday at River's house, right after school.**

School had gone by in a blur, and now I had Eva over at my house, trying to get me to look presentable. She had brought her curling iron and straightening iron, (I didn't understand why she needed both) and was using them on my hair like a professional. When she finally finished, she led me to the mirror and took her hands off my eyes with a fancy flourish. Looking in the mirror, I saw my straight, dark red hair had been completely transformed. It was straight until it got to the bottom of my jaw, where it slowly went into flowing waves, then loose, big curls, and smaller, but still loose curls at the bottom. "What do you think?" Eva asked, almost daring me to say it was horrible.

"It's great," I told her, "You're a lifesaver."

"And it isn't even done yet. I still have to do your make-up," she smiled.

I almost groaned, since that would be my natural reaction, but suppressed the urge. I _had_ asked her to do this. I went to my happy place as Eva put gunk on my lips, eyes, and cheeks. Once she was finished, she proclaimed, "You are now ready to go to the dance. As soon as you get your clothes on."

I walked over to my room and put my faded blue jeans and white tank top on. Then I took my purple shrug and put it on over top of my tank top. I glanced in my bedroom mirror, and I saw myself looking the best I had in a long time. Eva had done a great job. Randomly, I glanced at my watch. 8:10. How had Eva managed to waste three hours dressing me up for the dance tonight. "Eva, you are amazing!" I called to the washroom.

I walked over to where Eva was sitting on top of the washroom counter, smiling smugly. "I know," she replied.

"It's 8:10, I should probably go now."

"I'll drive you there, it's on the way to my house," Eva told me. She had gotten her license the day before school started. Her sixteenth birthday had happened the day before as well, but she had had her party the week before. My _fifteenth_ birthday had only happened this summer. Courtesy of home schooling as a child.

"Are you going to the party?" I asked her.

"No, I have to take Bradley to football practice," she said, remorse in her voice.

"Too bad. I'll gladly take the ride though."

After fifteen more minutes, we were pulling into the park. There was already a small crowd there, including Desmond and Paul. "Thanks for the ride!" I said to Eva.

"You can repay me by getting a kiss from Desmond," she teased.

"Bit of a tall order?"

She smiled and drove away.

As I walked over to the crowd of people, Desmond saw me and walked over. "You look beautiful," he told me.

"Thanks, you look nice too," I told him.

That was a serious understatement. He looked freaking amazing! He was wearing a navy tie, over a plain white t-shirt** (Almost left out the r in t-shirt by accident. You wouldn't **_**believe**_** what that spells! Go ahead, figure it out, I can wait.)**, and black dress pants. His dark blonde hair was gelled up in spikes. He was gorgeous. "Do you want to dance with me?" he asked, completely confident.

"Sure," I said hesitantly.

Just my luck, the fast, upbeat song I had been hoping for ended just then, and the D.J., Dominic's cousin Joel, turned on a slow song. "Do you still want to dance?" Desmond asked me.

I nodded. At least I knew how to dance. Eva had taught me in grade six. I had just never danced _with_ someone. And I had never danced a slow dance. I put my arms around Desmond's neck, holding them loosely behind his head. He put his hands on my waist, right on my hip bones. His touch was unexpectedly cold. Literally, not figuratively. His hands were freezing. I didn't have much time to dwell on it though, because we had started dancing. He lead, swaying and turning gently in time with the music. "After the party," he said quietly after a few minutes, "I want you to meet me by the rose gardens. There's something I need to tell you. I can drive you home afterwards."

In just two days Desmond had managed to charm me. I was now completely and totally in love with him. A ride home with him would be wonderful. And he was willing to tell me a secret. And at the rose gardens! That was as good as asking me on a date. "I'll be there," I promised.

"Make sure you come alone," he cautioned.

And a private date at that. He was so sweet. The song came to an end. I took my arms from the back of his neck, and he took his hands off my sides. "I'll see you later," he said.

"Kay, bye," I told him.

I turned around to go to the hot dogs. There was a fresh load coming off the grill right now. I put ketchup, mustard, onions, and cheese on my hotdog bun, and then got a nice warm hot dog wiener. Turning around, I went to go get a coke from the cooler. After I got my coke, I sat down on one of the many park benches and took a bite of my hotdog. _This is probably the second best hot dog I've ever made_, I thought. "Mind if I join you?" I voice asked.

I jumped slightly at the sound and looked up. Paul was standing near me. "Yeah, sure," I said, moving over on the bench to make room for him.

Paul sat down. He looked at me with the strangest expression on his face. He looked…sad. "I heard your meeting Desmond after the party," he said in a tone that sounded almost regretful.

"Yeah, how did you find out about that?" I asked. When Desmond had told me, he had made it sound so secret.

"He said he was going to be home late, and he had been dancing with you earlier, so I sort of guessed that…" he trailed off.

"Well, yes, he asked me to meet him. So?"

When Paul next spoke, his voice had a surprising sense of urgency in it. "You _can't _meet him."

Another thing about me. I do _not _like it _at all_ when people try to boss me around. "And just why not," I asked, daring him to tell me just why not.

"My brother can be rude and disrespectful. He can also get violent at times. If you are smart, you'll take my advice and catch a ride home with someone else."

And with that lovely goodbye, he got up and left. And I mean completely left. He walked over to the parking lot and drove away. In my opinion, good riddance. I was meeting Desmond whether he liked it or not. And I was fine with violence. The number of times I'd had to save Eva from being beaten up was probably well over fifty by now. I kept promising myself I would teach her to fight soon.

I spent the rest of the party talking with friends, dancing, and hanging out with more friends form school. By the time the party ended at quarter to one, I was exhausted, and nearly forgot to go meet Desmond at the rose gardens. But I didn't! Thank God.

I walked down the park path to the popular rose gardens. Thankfully at this time of night they were usually deserted, so it wasn't hard to find Desmond. He was bent over, looking intently at a rose he was holding between his fingers. I walked up to him and he turned around. "Hello," he said to me.

"Hi," I responded, "What did you want to see me about?"

"I would like to ask you on a date tomorrow. I was going to go to a movie, and I wondered if you would like to come along."

I had to admit, I was very surprised. I had _not_ been expecting Desmond to ask me on a _date_! So, I replied, "Umm, sure?"

"Wonderful. I'll pick you up at about six," he said, a smile on his face that actually scared me. His eyes were too focused, slightly wider than was natural. He looked evil, a hungry beast with me as the prey. For a second, I wondered if I should have taken Paul's advice and not met Desmond here. But when he next spoke, the scary smile disappeared, replaced with a normal one, "Would you like me to drive you home now?" he asked pleasantly.

"Sure."

I followed Desmond to his car, and gave him directions to my house. He pulled into the drive-way, and stopped the car. He smiled at me, the nice smile, not the scary one. "I really like you River," he said, "I think I may be in love."

I smiled awkwardly. I realized that I felt the same way about Desmond. I did love him. He was so kind, and so easy going, and so _nice_ in every way. He was exactly what I had imagined my dream boyfriend to be. "I feel the same way," I told him casually.

I realized that Desmond's face was somewhat closer to mine than it had been a minute ago. We had both been leaning in toward each other, and now were only a few inches apart. Before I could pull away, he made the few inches disappear and touched his lips to mine.

And I didn't care one bit.

I kissed him right back. It was instinctual, an action that showed the love between us. And it was over way too soon. He was the one who finished it, while I could have gone on and on. He pulled away, smiling. I noticed instantly it was the unnatural smile again. I felt my face change from happiness to discomfort. He must have noticed, because the next instant, he was smiling pleasantly again. I wasn't quite convinced though. I decided to ignore it, but made a vow that if he did that look once more, I would leave, and not come back.

**Later, in River's room**

I flopped myself down on my bed, finally realizing that I was exhausted. I looked at the clock on my nightstand: 1:30. And I had spent the entire night dancing. Tomorrow I would sleep in even longer than usual. I turned my lamp off, and in about 30 seconds, fell asleep.


End file.
